Guilt

I know I have to find moments of happiness , I have to live in the present and that its okay for me to feel happy and light sometimes but yet I feel guilty anyway. I feel guilty when I forget for awhile, when I'm happy, when I'm relaxed, I feel guilty because I know my mom can't escape it for even a second. I know she wouldn't want me to be sad all of the time, to be feeling guilty, intellectually I know all of this but my emotions aren't getting the message.

I did however go to my pilates yoga mix class today, it was nice, I felt human again for a little while, I felt normal for a little while, I felt like me for a little while. It felt good, I need to capture more moments like that.