Its hitting hard today....I'm sitting down trying to figure out some ALS stuff, insurance, record keeping etc and it hit me, I'm helping my mom die...not in the Dr Kavorkian sense but I'm helping her get her things in order so she can die...something that I never thought I'd do, well not before turning 40 anyway. The other day I saw two old ladies together and realized that they were mother and daughter and it hit me that that will never be me and my mom....
My mom is getting ready to tell the rest of the family this week, her brothers and sisters....each time she sits people down to tell them it becomes even more real. I don't think I've ever felt pain as acute as this in my life. I'm so lost and my brain thinks two different things at the same time, it understands this is very very real and at the very same time its telling me that it isn't....its the most odd thing in the world, I've never experienced it before.
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